||[Sep. 21st, 2010|09:31 pm]
So today I got bit by a spider. That pretty much sums up my last few months. =(|
I broke my knee 2 1/2 weeks ago. Kind of puts a strain on finding a job as an EMT. Although it's not like that is going anywhere...
Obviously still haven't found a job. Every single day I send my resume to at least 6 different places, and I haven't heard a word back. I don't know what else to do. I can't afford to pay this rent.
And even though I am burning through my savings, our cars don't care. The escort decided to break, and cost $1250 in repairs. And if that wasn't enough strain on our very thing pocketbooks, the Subaru's engine lite went on 6 days after fixing the Escort. AND IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, the Subaru again, just a few weeks later, decided to have a transmission problem, that according to a transmission specialist is going to cost $4000!!! to repair! 4000 fucking dollars!!! That right there is my entire life savings!!!
I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel very very alone. I am back to the rock bottom that I once vowed I would never get back to. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Beside Manuel, I don't feel like I have anyone who is there for me. I have no friends down here. And while I have a few close friends, they have there own best friends to deal with.
I hate that all my updates are negative, but that's all my life has been lately. I am very lucky that I still have Manuel and the wedding planning is going fine. I am lucky that I have my health(hopefully. I don't have insurance, so who knows?), I do have a roof over my head, and food on my table, and a family who would never let me go hungry. But it's hard. It's really hard. I don't know how much more I can take.